Getting in touch with the Ex.....

After the heartache of a break up, the ceremonial burning and purging of the ex's stuff.The slating of their good name all over town, and the inevitable 3am call.... after a few months, you feel finally ready to move on.

Ok, certain albums you can hardly listen to, certain songs have to be banned and the mere mention of their favourite film sends you into a spiral of anger/ guilt/ remorse/ all in equal measures. Although on the whole, you feel like you're doing ok. That is, of course, until you hear from them. THAT'S when it all goes Pete Tong.

This happened to me the other day. There I was, sitting at work, listening to Youtube when all of a sudden an all too familiar name sauntered into my outlook. Just like that. Easy as sunday.

For a minute, I could barely talk. Let alone read. Let alone respond.

It was quite the breezy email, detailing all that they had been up to, what was coming up etc. What annoyed me the most, however, was just how CASUAL it all was. As if the past year of midnight phone calls, 1001 texts, and 2am drunken visits ending in a shoe being thrown, or two, had never happened.

I was angered by their complete lack of remorse, that they did not seem to be aware of anything that they had done. I wanted them to be suffering, to have lost 20 pounds, to have dark circles under their eyes. A quick snoop of their facebook page, however, revealed that they were in fact tanned, taut, terrific and apparently having the time of their life.

Something I was not too pleased about.

It is a funny thing this ex business. Although I am completely over mine, and never entertain the thought of a reunion, I still find it hard to feel completely happy for them.
A part of me wants them to confess undying love, to look haggard and drawn and to obsess over me while i get on with my life as normal....

It never seems to be the way...

Then there is their suggestion of 'friendship'.. as if it could be that easy. Yes, let's meet up and discuss our new relationships over coffee. Let's hang out and watch trashy TV.
Friendship with the ex is difficult at best. There is always the sexual tension, the not quite gone feelings, the resentment and then the strange attraction - coupled with a few drinks and a lull on the dating scene - and you've a recipe for an ex re-visiting that should never have happened.

The whole ex matter is murky indeed, and contact is best avoided until one of you
a) turns gay
b) gets married
c) becomes celibate or all of the above.

Failing these three options, a cooling off period of 6 months to a year is also recommended - and from there, a semi-decent friendship could emerge which is a perfect platform from which to peruse and scout their mates! (the perfect revenge!)

Words: Katie Cowell