Episode One: If i build it will they come?

Mandy.com - last refuge (or sometimes first) for the unemployed, penniless artist looking for a project that will kick- start something fantastic. If you've ever wanted to do anything in film/tv/theatre etc etc then you'll probably find it here. Above all it's a cool place to find some interesting things to do & can be useful for students or anyone looking for a way in to something. Trouble is, from an art department perspective at least, virtually none of the jobs can pay you. Alot of the time ads will be placed by tiny production companies just starting out, looking for people to contribute whatever it is they need for their exciting new projects that, once completed, will catapult everyone involved into the upper stratosphere of success. Until then you'll have to make do with your name in the credits, a copy of the film & possibly being paid in biscuits & coffee. The rest of the ads come from students in their final year who need help. They offer pretty much the same but with no biscuits or coffee!

Like i said though there's some interesting projects to be found here from time to time and occasionally some well paid & fantastic jobs appear. I peruse its pages regularly and so it was back in early December 2008 that my latest 'mandy' related adventure began........and it's likely to continue for some time to come.

Joey Wong & Robin Anson - two film students in their final year at Leeds Metropolitan Uni. Joey is the Director & Robin is the Producer. Trust me, that's all you need to know about them! Other than they plan to make what is quite possibly the most ambitious sci-fi film since James Cameron got bored of 10 years swimming around the Titanic wreck & re-surfaced to finally get round to doing something about that Avatar idea he'd had. (Which all nerds had hoped would be Battle Angel instead but hey ho!) It's also the most ambitious sci-fi film in the history of students who keep forgetting they have'nt got a lot of money! Technicaly speaking I'm not actually allowed to talk about it as they've made me sign a none disclosure Agreement so that all you evil producers out there won't steal their idea. And i secretly think it makes them feel all grown up & serious! Any how, it works for them so i respect that. I am however allowed to talk about & show my work on the project.

So, Joey & Robin need "the coolest fucking suit of kick ass power armour ever" please. It has to fully encase the person wearing it whilst retaining full body movement. It's got to be metalic & have lights & lazers & a forearm com panel that lights up. And some shoulder mounted floodlights....that light up & glowing eyes. They want it to look like Iron-man crossed with Robocop, Masterchief, Terminator(?) and blah blah blah. They have very little to no money, no materials or resources....nothing really. They do have in their possesion the mythical doodle on the back of a napkin (pictured at the very top) representing what they want it to look like but could I make that look cooler & more kick ass and....well, redesign it?? Oh & can they have 6 of them in a month for about £500?

That's when principal photography begins....... once they've storyboarded the sequences, constructed all the sets, models, costumes, props, got actors, CGI, special effects, prosthetics, animatronics, stunts........finished the fucking script perhaps? Students eh? But still, I could not resist the image filling my head of a really cool suit of armour. With me in it!! Yeahman.

It's not for everyone I know but we are out there. It was on this very 'Fat Blog' site that i saw the coolest guy in the universe (in my opinion anyway based on the photo) posing with his keyboard & Optimus Prime voice changer helmet. If thats the kind of thing you like to do for a laugh then you'll appreciate the magnitude of owning your own suit of the coolest thing in the world. Downside is you've got to make it & you'll have nowhere to put it when it's done. Plus it'll probably hurt you if you wear it. Which you would only ever do by yourself anyway....or with a mate in the woods but you would'nt do much in it socialy speaking.
ANYWAY!! Seriously, the chance to do something like this (which is quite a feat for a team of people with money) was impossible to pass up. Unfortunatly their current schedule was a tad unrealistic in their current position. In fact it was totally unrealistic! They had massively under estimated how much work & effort goes into these things. A friendly reality check was administered & a preliminary deal was done that went a bit like this: "I'll go home & write down a concise step by step guide outlining exactly how i'd make the suit with a list of materials & links to where to get them & most importantly prices. Everything you could possibly need to know will be written down for you so you can see for youself how much it will cost & decide how best to proceed. In the meantime while you're pondering over that I'll start some sketches & shit. Once I've done something you're happy with I'll make a maquette of that design so you can see it in 3d & make any changes you like". Fair enough really. I figured all of that would take a couple of weeks giving them enough time to get their stuff together & decide if it was actually possible for them to have what they want. Not to mention find a small army of people to do all the other stuff that goes into film making! I'd help in any capacity that I could & point them in the right direction for other things. At worst i'd have some decent sketches & possibly a cool looking maquette to go in my portfolio. At best. Well!!! Cue the images of me in cool sci-fi armour running round a gravel pit, jumping off rocks & shit, landing in dynamic poses....by myself.

Experience has taught me that in reality that scenario would actually just consist of my broken body being found by some people at the bottom of a deep ditch or something due to the lack of vision, hearing, movement, spacial awareness, ability to breathe etc. But I'd look cool as fuck. Or possibly like a cock. I keep reminding myself that it's not for me it's for their film. But it's for me really!!! Also it might impress potential employers which is really the point! It'll keep me busy in the meantime. Little did I know what awaited me.

Tune in next time for the concept sketches which i kicked off with 3 hours of procrastination & a rainforest's worth of screwed up paper. Not to mention the producer emailing me to ask what I'd use for sculpting the thing & how much would I need?......after I'd told him I'd need 5 bags of clay to get started on the sculpting. Twice.

Take it easy,

Michael

P.S...That's not me by the way. It's the dude with the wicked helmet I was talking about! Does it really make you sound like Optimus Prime? I hope so. You could have some fun answering the telephone with that on.