The joys of office work....

Ok , so the whole exploration of the office dynamics has been done– nonetheless, there is something to be said about an office environment – especially an office of media types. Here you have a whole bunch of people from various ages/ races/ backgrounds/ gender/ sexuality – all working together – mostly in a job they can’t wait to escape. So where does this leave us? With a loads of personality clashes and mini groups which inevitably will form.

There’s the boys’ club – dick swingers who ponce around on their blackberries .. even though the only person emailing them is their better paid wife

There’s the lifers club – the middle aged women who’ve been there for years, and have no intention of leaving until retirement. They can be seen strolling around the office, making endless cups of tea discussing the intricacies of excel.

There are the trendy wendies. Mostly they’re girls who strut around , trying to gain the attention of the only half decent looking man in the office - who is invariably gay

If we’re in a media office, then we will also encounter the 2 cool for skool types who think they’re above and beyond. These types are different to the dick swingers as they’re usually more arty/ young and cool. Given that they’re in media, they’re usually in a band/ aspiring film makers/ musicians/ artists.. or all of the above.

There’s the over-worked female manager, battling it out in a man’s world. She’s torn between wearing low cut tops – or power boots. Sometimes she’ll settle on both. She’s overworked, stressed out and a heavy smoker. She hits the booze harder than she works her team – and can often be seen the next day hung-over and orange from last night’s fake tan session. The sun bed is always in lieu of an actually holiday – such are her career demands.

Inarguably the most painful thing about the office life is that the day doesn’t always end at half 5. Sometimes it carries into the evening… this is in the form of work drinks. Once a week some bright spark decides to shoot an email around suggesting we all have ‘team’ drinks – choosing not to acknowledge that NONE OF US HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON. Inevitably you’re sat in a dingy pub and listening to someone with bad breath rant about their office vision using such terms as ‘deployment’ , ‘going forward’ and ‘strategy’.

Scintialling things. It’s even worse when you don’t drink, and everyone is getting progressively drunk and making passes at you / telling you they love you / telling you their life story. All three distressing. So the manager who you NEVER speak to , is trying to remember your name… , the pervy guy who sits behind you is eyeing you up… and everyone is avoiding the next round.

Note: At this point, I’d just like it to be noted, that this is not indicative of the entire media industry. Not all offices are like this, and this doesn’t encompass my entire experience in the media industry, but it IS based on some of my experiences - and it hasn't been pleasant!

Words: Frontpage