So the old geezer of strictly come dancing has quit and decided to rob us of the viewing pleasure of his stunning dance partner who actually does all the work. What a selfish guy. And why would any man want to give up spending the majority of their time with a foxy dancer lady? One question too many for my pretty little head.
On other celebrity news, I recently caught an old favourite running around on TV and decided to pull him up for a quick interview. Eddie Murphy was in his latest movie and I was on my couch.
Me: SO Eddie, what happened to all those classy and punchy jokes that made you a legend in my eyes
Eddie/Klump/Norbit/Latest Fat Character: pharts
Me: Uh, OK. I have a friend who refers to you as Sir Eddie. Do you think you still live up to such billing?
Eddie/Klump/Norbit/Latest Fat Character: (SHOUTS) YES AHH CAAAAAN!!!
Me: So Eddie any chance of you droping the fat jokes?
Eddie/Klump/Norbit/Latest Fat Character: pharts
Me: Uh, I guess not. Any chance of you doing some good material like the good old days?
Eddie/Klump/Norbit/Latest Fat Character: makes armpit noises whilst biting into lamb chops
At this point I looked down and tried to supress the tears as I realised, Eddie isn’t just going through a little bit of a slump, Eddies gone. Gone for good. He might give us a little spark here and there with donkey from Shrek but alas my friends, Eddie lost his mojo a looong time ago.
Words: Future
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