I’ve been missing in action for a while. Even before I started missing my blogs, I think I’ve been absent without leave. Balancing life, work and love for music is no easy feat. On top of that, I have not seemed to be motivated musically. Lost my mojo so to speak.
I’ve been up and down for the last few months. It’s funny. Even though my musical journey is moving forward, it feels as though I am standing still. Stuck in limbo! I have asked myself so many times, ‘Are you wasting your time?’ Trouble is, even if I wanted to, I can’t put the music down; I can’t not push to get my sound out! Every evening I spend where I don’t do something musical feels like I’ve failed!
I’m addicted... in every sense of the word. My time on stage is my high. The lulls in-between... my downer! For every hit I get on my website, my sugar levels rise; adrenaline pumps. Keeping still is the last thing on my mind. But it’s short-lived! As soon as I’ve jumped off stage; packed up and gone home, I’m greeted with a huge pile of school books and a line of bills! Oh the glamorous life of a musical junkie!
This blog became my rehab at one point; a moment to reflect, think and detox. A time when I was forced to evaluate what I have done; achieved. To recognise and be thankful! I may not be where I want to be but at least I am getting the right kind of opportunities and it’s down to knowing the right people.
I am fortunate in that I know a few DJs and promoters. I am also quite good at promoting myself to people who I don’t know.
It has simply become a waiting game! Trouble is, anyone who knows me will tell you... I’m not very patient!
So... this brings me nicely round to 2010!
Having allowed myself time to rest and reflect, I have started the year with a positive outlook. This time last year I was buzzing with ideas and had high hopes that were perhaps a little too adventurous. This year is about making SMART decisions. I need to be smarter about time management. Smarter about promotion and smarter about the types of gigs I accept.
All no doubt, easier said than done... time will tell.
I lost a friend at the end of the year (2009). It has made me think a little harder about the time we have. I am so consumed with making my life better... pushing my music, that I am neglecting to enjoy the life I have! I have a lot... a hell of a lot of things to be thankful for. I need to remember to be thankful and to enjoy my life; time with my family and friends.
I have a few new plans up my sleeve, so watch this space. I also have a few things that have been simmering away for a while now and need to come to a head.
I short... I found my mojo on New Year's eve and now it's time to make some moves.
Here's to 2010. I'll be in touch soon.
Tootles...
Flutter
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